Saturday, May 30, 2009

Majestic 12

- I'm sure you're all aware of the RICICULOUS conspiracy theories relating to the group known as the "Majestic Twelve." Supposedly a secret group setup by President Harry Truman to cover-up evidence of extraterrestrial life after the "Roswell Crash." This is of course preposterous. It is widely accepted that the Roswell craft was a metal-skinned weather balloon, and that the tiny alien corpse was in fact just a regularly-sized alien corpse. The document I post above has been widely debunked and should not be trusted. That is right, I advise you to disregard this document and forget that we ever had this conversation. I will not come to bail you out of prison when you're arrested at 2:00 A.M. on a New Mexico ranch with your homemade Geiger Counter slung over your neck, SO JUST DROP IT.
- End post.

The Strange Habits of Word Order

- It has always bothered me that certain words in the English language go together. I find it especially odd that these words have, over time, come to require speaking in a particular order. I'm sure your all wondering what exactly I mean, so I'll give you an example: bread and butter. There you have it, not butter and bread: bread and butter. Two words that are inexorably linked by the strange twist of fate that the second happens to taste delicous when spread liberally on the first.

There are some words that have an even stronger bond. Peanut butter and jelly comes to mind. Can you imagine the chaos of a jelly and peanut butter sandwhich? What about, "Can you pass the pepper and salt, dear?"

It occurs to me now that words like these should have a name. What moniker is fitting for these enigmas of the common tongue? Answer: I have no idea.
Put your choice for the new name in the comments (or, alternately, put the actual name if your able to find one that's already in use.)

- End post

Friday, May 29, 2009

Zombie Haikus to Boing Boing

The wonderful people at "Boing Boing" are requesting YOUR zombie haikus. I know that you internet users fancy yourselves the creative bunch, and I know you never run out of things to say about the undead, so this seems right up your alley.

Post your compositions of five, seven, and five syllables here
Would it help if I added that you could win something? It would. Okay, YOU could win something.

-End post